It was a typical Friday night, you were lazing on your bed, staring at your screen, scrolling through your Facebook news feed.
A photo caught your eye.
You knew it was inevitable and there it was.
She’s with someone new. Out of curiosity, you clicked the photo. You saw her smile, the one that she used to wear when she was still with you. You felt your shoulders stoop. You faked a smile and felt tears well up. You brave soul, you clicked to the next pictures. “I, the great masochist,” you told yourself.
You clicked and you clicked, surprised by the many dates they have already had. The car rides, the sunsets and every little thing the two of you already went through. Then you found yourself hovering your cursor over the guy’s face. You grit your teeth, and you clicked.
On his profile, you learned everything about him. You studied his face, took a mental note of yours and made a comparison. Deep inside you told yourself that you’re the better man. You compared everything that you did with her and he did with her. For the first time in a long while, you felt so unsure about yourself.
The thoughts hurt, the thoughts were scary.
As you browsed past their images, you felt all these emotions welling up inside; anger, pain, melancholy. Familiar emotions last felt right after she broke up with you.
You took your hand away from the mouse and rubbed your face with the palm of your hands. Millions of questions overwhelmed you. You somehow tried to answer them yourselves. Then suddenly, Eureka! You told yourself. Typing in her name, you found your way back to her Facebook profile. And you typed some more…
I hate you…
How could you…
Where’s the three month rule?
Justice for my loneliness!!
With a couple more well-placed hateful words here and there, a massive wall of hate text laid in front of you. Of course, you didn’t want typos and grammar issues, you took a moment to proofread your work.
What on Earth am I doing?
You pondered, you shook your head lightly, and you hit backspace, then once more, and then again till there was nothing left in front of you but an empty white space.
Clearing your head of anger, you took a deep breathe. With a somber smile, you closed the message box. The photo of the two of them stuck on your screen.
Moments passed, the view of them smiling started to look sickening. Your cursor found its way on the X button on the upper right part of your browser and clicked. Pushing away the keyboard, you buried your face in your hands.
And then you told yourself…