Aside from personal experiences of being blatantly body shamed, I have personally witnessed it happen again and again to many other women. I imagine there are plenty of women out there who have experienced the same thing. 

My officemate who gave birth two months ago has been body shamed in front of me plenty of times. A woman who is busy taking care of her baby while working doesn’t deserve to hear the words, “Tambuka na nimu uy! Padaut na! (You are so fat! Lose weight!).”

It is a sad fact that despite many social campaigns and well known personalities speaking up against body shaming, it still happens OVER and OVER AGAIN. Women are continually victimized and expected to live in a certain form that society dictates.

These are a few things I want to tell body shaming trolls:

Everyone has a different body type and it’s a gift.

Newsflash! A woman’s body comes in all shapes and sizes. Regardless of whether it’s skinny or curvy, her body is a gift. She has every right to be proud of that gift.

Here’s an infographic of the different shapes of a woman.

A woman’s body has nothing to do with her worth.

Do you really think a woman’s value changes when she gains or loses weight? Think again!

The numbers on the weighing scale do not define a woman’s being. Guys, if you don’t look like Calvin Klein models then don’t expect girls to look like Victoria’s Secret angels. 

Anyway instead of focusing on her body, how about showing more concern for her personality, attitude and intelligence? Those are undeniably more significant than her weight. As what Charlize Theron said, “There is nothing is sexier than a smart woman.

0afb9839c132cf2a_640_weighing-scaleConcern and humiliation are two very different things.

“I’m just concerned!”

There are more discreet ways to show your concern. You do not have to keep dropping the word tambuk (fat) then associate it with being ugly. That’s not concern. That’s humiliation in its most hypocritical form.

If you really wanted to show concern for a person’s health and well-being, you can talk to them in private.

You cannot bring a confident woman down.

A confident woman will not care.

Confidence defies all the naysayers. When a woman is certain about her beauty and worth, she will not allow you to bring her down. You can bruise her confidence, but she will always stand and shake your body shaming comments off.

Why do you have to be so mean?

When you haven’t seen someone in a long time, it’s disrespectful to greet her with, “Oh my gosh, you gained weight!” or “ You look so fat already!” Why is it so hard to greet someone with, “ Hello! How have you been?” or “ I haven’t seen you in a long time. Are things good?” Better yet, focus on positive things like, “You look good with your new hair color.” or “You have a really nice dress.”

Why do you find it hard to be nice? Please tell me because this world doesn’t need mean people. We need people who bring smiles to other people’s faces. This world doesn’t need BODY SHAMERS.

Shaira Berame

She loves conversations and stories about life, love and everything in between. See her daily adventures at  @imshairab 


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