If you like getting your face splashed with boiling coffee, good manners are pointless. Etiquette is to remind you that the pursuit to happiness ends where others’ begins. This is especially true in the café environment. Spare yourself the Two Face look.

Here’s a guide on how not to get stabbed by a stirrer in a coffee shop.

1. Limit your charging hours

Most decent coffee shops don’t have a time limit for the power outlet. You are allowed to use it for as long as you want, but remember to share. You could charge your gadget for an hour, take it out and allow someone else to use it. If nobody uses the outlet in thirty minutes, you can use it again. I know… it’s so HARD to do! No worries. Deep down you are a good and giving person, you’ll work it out.

cofifi2. Don’t use your laptop/phone/tablet speakers. Use headphones. 

One way to get people to go American Psycho on you would be to use your speakers in a coffee shop. If you play songs like Just Give Me A Reason so loud it triggers tinnitus, that’s a reason to boil that Samsung Galaxy tablet in human blood. Guess where I’m getting the human blood to boil your tablet in?

Use headphones.

3. Save the environment

Pirated DVDs

Plastic bags

Anne Curtis’ Album

Disposable coffee cups

All these are what Jerry Seinfeld would consider unnecessary trash. Instead of using the disposable coffee cups, you could bring your own tumbler (some cafes even offer discounts if you do so) or use the ceramic cups. Save the earth and give it a few extra years.

Dolce Cebu coffee4. Limit you bandwidth

Not using the internet? Turn off the Wifi.  Also don’t ever torrent and clog up the bandwidth. Save your guilty pleasure downloads at home.

Try a book. Read James Salter’s Last Night. Or think of a joke. Like this one: gilibak ang cave unsay tubag sa cave? Eh di, Caver.

You’re welcome.

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